Sunday, May 29, 2005
sighh.. i missed you so much today..
you know something? u've got wonderful friends to comfort you and all..
most of my friends are just.. there..
not really people whom i can confide much in..
u were the only one that i would confide my problems in..
and now.. i can't.. and yeah.. was left with just one..
yeah.. thanks gillian..
anyways,
i'm really sorry for having thind happen all soon..
i didn't want it now.. cuz first of all.. u had ur mt paper on monday.
i din wanna clutter ur head with any extra stuff..
secondly, i really wanted to see u.. at least just one more time,
before i talk to u about it again..
but..i guess god somehow.. did it this way..
screw up the phones in my house and get my mom to pick it up.. sighh..
i almost cried today too.. but i didn't..
cuz i was out.. for tuition, and bona and raphael came over today..
i'm glad they came..
it took my mind off u for a while.. fo a while..
but nothing can ever take my mind totally off of u..
almost cried upon reading ur entry just now.. but din..
cuz bona's still here.. he's downstairs..
i never wanted it to be this way.. cut it up with a rusty saw..
i would've rather done it with a samurai sword..
clean, smooth, and painless..
and then, easily mended back..
i'm sorry baby..
and, i'm not supposed to contact u or try to contact u either..
cuz ur mom said tt she'd be really pissed with me if she found out that i was contacting you and undoing what they're trying to do..(put us on hold)..
sighh..
and dear? my mom doesn't hate you..
she's angry with you cuz she read ur messages tt morning..
i knew u were toubled and clouded up..
my mom on the other hand, can't see that..
i know it's hard to think straight with all that was happening..
i don blame u for saying some things, that weren't too nice..
but it's ok. cuz i know ur not like that..
cuz the girl i loved, i love,
isn't like that.
i'm gonna miss you too..
with every beat of my heart.. i'll miss you..n love u.
but now.. baby..
there's one thing i wanna ask of u.. ask of us..
that, we'll try to get over this..
and pray tt we can concentrate fully on our work.
cuz, afterall, work was the reason for all this happennings..
i really hope tt u will do well tml.
i love u
i actually blogged at 7:22 PM
pleaseshootme